Alzheimer's at 51: Family needs relief in Rockaway Return to Fire Dept Home Page
ROCKAWAY -- There are days when Arnold Stanke rearranges equipment in the borough's fire station just like he used to do. Except now when he is done, firefighters place the equipment in its proper place. Stanke, A.J. to all his friends, including a large number in this borough, where he served the volunteer fire department for 17 years, has Alzheimer's disease. Diagnosed at 51.
The disease struck about three years ago when he was 51, his wife Caroline said Thursday. Early onset Alzheimer's progresses quickly, she said. Today he needs 24-hour supervision and spends days at an adult day care center in Chatham Township. His Alzheimer's is complicated by diabetes, she said. As the disease progressed, she said, the impact of the cost of care and the stress placed on his family increased. High expenses are made worse because of her husband's age, Stanke said. He is too young to qualify for aid programs, and as a postal worker for 30 years, is not eligible for Social Security. Transportation is a key, she said. The vans and shuttle services can not help because her husband is too young to qualify for the service or due to his illness, she said. "We are at the end of the road," Caroline Stanke said, "and we know where the road leads.
He was in Civil Service, not Social Security so we do not get those benefits, and I have two children at home." She has $6,000 in unpaid medical bills, and each month must cover $500 for medications for her husband, herself and her 17-year-old son, who ended up in the hospital for three days due to the stress of the situation. "He was trying to be the man of the family," Stanke said. "And it just got to him. He is so angry. His father was his best friend, and he is just watching him go away." He injured his hand after punching a wall and missed the last Babe Ruth baseball season, she said. Her daughter, 20, also has special needs that require additional care, she said. Fearing loss of home "We are all so angry all the time," Stanke said, weeping. She is afraid she will have to sell their home.
Stanke said after her husband retired from the postal service, he qualified as a fire instructor and was teaching a Fire Fighter I class at the Morris County Police and Firefighters Academy and at the Hudson County fire academy. He saw the chance for a second career that would have brought Social Security eligibility, she said. That dream died as the Alzheimer's progressed.
On Thursday Stanke was surrounded by friends from the borough, firefighters police and town officials who offered support. Mayor Mary Lockwood said A.J. Stanke is one of the nicest, friendliest people she has ever known. "He is a wonderful man," she said.
Morris County Sheriff Edward Rochford said Project Lifesaver International had donated a wristband, transmitter and batteries for a year. That program would allow law enforcement personnel to quickly find A.J. Stanke if he wandered away. Relief possibilities Caroline Stanke has considered applying to the New Jersey Fireman's Home in Boonton. The residential home requires that a person have served for one year as either a volunteer or paid firefighter in the state. Stanke said seven people are on a waiting list. She said her employer, Wal-Mart, has been supportive and has allowed her flexibility in her work schedule to drive her husband to and from day care and to bathe and feed him daily. Theresa Davis, executive director of the county's division on aging, said she is investigating two new Medicaid programs that might allow funding that would help keep A.J. Stanke at home. She said eligibility for the programs is designed to help families keep loved ones at home and not in nursing homes. "We say that if a family needs help, they need help," Davis said. "Age is not a factor."
Michael Daigle can be reached at (973)